Friday, September 30, 2011

Life is like a box of chocolates....

and yesterday I got the hard icky nougat one...oh was like that. Wasn't too bad of a day until I headed in town for my regular dermatology apt. On my way, window down , singing along to Justin Timberlake (Just a classic case, a s-s-scenerio) when I feel something on my tooth. Soooo, I use my nail to see what it is and a piece of my tooth breaks off!! Yeah! I'm like freaking out! I pulled over to assess the damage & to call the dentist, which was closed.... :-\ I'm about ready to cry at this point! I mean there is a a piece of my tooth gone & I am seriously trippin here!! So I start driving and I am all calm, cool and collected now so call my husband for comfort.
Scott  "Hello"
Scott " what happened?"
me " I don't know but I am all snaggletoothed now!! "
Scott " is it bad?"
me " um yeah , well I don't know, maybe. It's just a little piece "
Scott" which tooth?"
me " you know one of the fangy ones."
Scott " Well good thing you aren't a vampire."
me " hardy har har. stop laughing at me or I will cut you with my snaggletooth."
Scott" call the dentist."
me " they are CLOSED!
Scott "oh well, maybe you can get in next week."
me , being the sarcastic smartass that I am had to say this " yeah oh well. Our anniversary is tomorrow and this tooth is sharp! So don't expect any fancy moves around your man parts." 
Scott just starts laughing at me which makes me laugh! So end that call I am feeling a little better. Go to my apt, I had a small bump on my eyelid, Dr says it's a cyst and she needs to lance it and pull it out with tweezers. ooookaaaayy.........ON MY EYELID!!!!! Yeah, let me tell ya, having a needle poked into your eyelid is not fun. IT HURT!!!! Not to mention the panic sitting there thinking " OMG OMG OMG she is gonna screw this up and stick my eyeball! MY EYEBALL!! For the love of all that is Holy please don't let her shank my eye!"   Luckily I am unshanked and only slightly bleeding. whew that was scary! If Dr's are gonna do that they should at least numb it or give you a shot of tequila first.
So now I have a partially missing tooth and a goofed up eye! My day got so. much. better. dontcha think?? So now I am all in meltdown mode and start texting a few of my buds for some support. I mention I am going to have to wear some sort of sexy outfit for my anniversary to draw attention from my snaggletooth & my bloody eyelid.  Angie suggested I dress as a sexy pirate! Maybe........ Slap an eyepatch on and we all know dental hygiene wasn't a big part of a pirate's life, so a missing tooth would be no big deal. Then I could go around saying things like " Arrrrgh, you after my booty mate?" It could sooo work.
(Thank you girls for making me laugh yesterday!! you know who you are!!)

Back to the box of chocolates theory, yesterday was indeed an icky nougat day, but today is a white chocolate truffle day!! I've been married to the love of my life for 16 yrs today! wow! And I got my snaggletooth fixed!! ( his man parts are safe! HA HA!!!!!) Scott took the day off and took me out for breakfast and lunch ( I gotta stop eating, I'll never fit into a pirate wench outfit this way!) and all is well. My eyelid looks better and has quit throbbing! yay!!!

I can laugh about all this, laughter is good. Better than crying! Besides.....pirates don't cry.

1 comment:

  1. You are too funny!! I laughed so hard that my tooth hurt and my eyeballs leaked!!! ;o) Love ya...Me