Friday, March 16, 2012

Unless you are my proctologist, get off my ass!

That's a bumper sticker that pretty much sums it up for my day today. Thank you and Goodnight. Is it ok to call it a night and go to bed at 11:00 AM?? I feel like it's been a whole days worth of crapola if that counts!!?? Then maybe I can have some more weirdo dreams!! I am blaming the 3000mg of antibiotics I am on right now for those. Shall I share? They are quite good!

 Let's start with the singing dog! We are staying at a friends house and their dog Ozzy keeps singing "Mack the Knife" over and over. I'm like "please shut your dog up!!! I am trying to sleep and it feels like a 1950's lounge in here!" Sharon says " sorry it's the only song he knows. Ozzy stop singing!"So then the dog starts humming it instead!
ok so first off, with a name like Ozzy and an owner named Sharon you'd think the dog would be more apt to sing "Crazy Train" or "Bark at the Moon" right?? And second….that song was stuck in my head all day long!!!! I never liked that song and I still find I have no love for it, but funny dream!!

Onto the next warped dream!

It's like late1980 something, I am cruising around in a beat up banana yellow Camaro with my friends Tina and CiJay. Tina and I have on the classic 80's clothing of ripped jeans, black concert T's , hella huge earrings and of coarse hair that's so teased and huge I am surprised it fits in the car. CiJay however is dressed like Prince….purple suit, ruffled shirt, pointy boots and the curly hair, total Purple Rain!!!!! All except the giant handlebar mustache that is. Anyway we are road trippin listening to Whitesnake ( Here I go Again)  when Tina wants to stop at Dollar General for moon pies. So we go in and they are looking for moon pies and I go to the bathroom. Theres a 25 cent underwear machine on the wall. So I'm all like cool, cheap silk undies all right! So I put in my quarter and get my stash and then more and more keep coming out. So I didn't want to shove them in my purse so I took off my pants and put on all 15 pairs! I came waddling back out to find Tina and CiJay arguing because there wasn't any chocolate moon pies only  vanilla so should they get sticky buns instead. I'm  whispering to Tina to just pick something and get the hell outa there cuz I had on 15 pair of underwear and didn't wanna get busted! Then I yelled at CiJay to stop dancing in the aisle and go get in the car.

I really wish I could remember this one!!  I just know it involved Paul Rudd in very short tight khaki shorts and a Velociraptor. Man I bet it was really good too!!! :-(

Last night's dream involved a unicorn, a leprechaun and me in a hopscotch tournament. I lost. Stupid unicorn cheats.

Saturday, February 18, 2012

feeling a little blue………or maybe not…..depends on the text

Hello there peeps!! Know it's been awhile, life just gets busy sometimes!! Plus Megan and I have been sick. I am so ready for summer! Not that I wanna wish away my days or anything, just ready for the warmth & being away from all the germs at school. I'm especially ready to be off the bus for awhile, it will be nice to not get snotted on ! LOL

Speaking of busses…..I am about to throw Angie under one! heehee :-) I love that girl!! she sends me a text one day last week asking me why I was so blue. I'm like ok, that's random, last I checked I'm doing fine! So I text her back " Um, cuz I been eating smurfs???" I should mention we are also on a group text with Tina. So Angie's like "har har" and says "because of the chocolate cake pic you sent that said this chases the blues away! You goober!"  I text back " I didn't send you a cake pic! maybe it was Tina!" Tina replies "???????" then calls me, " wtf is she talking about? what cake?" I'm like I have no idea!! LOL So then Angie gets all flustered and realizes it was a text from someone else! SSOOOOOO, Tina and I decide to google pics of choc cake with blue icing and send them to her phone!! heehee!! we are such smart asses I know!!! :-)  Thank you Google for the plethora of cakes!!

this one is so angry!!! 

I think the cake fairy just crapped on this one!


Tina found this lovely cake?? WTH?? Popular at birthdays AND Sacrifices!!!! woot woot! ???

OMG! DON"T EAT THE BABY! Crawl away baby Dennis!! Crawl away!!! 

I have no idea what this is!!!! ??? LOL

Eat me!!! Eat me!!! 

Just wanted to share all these lovely cupcakes and cakes with you!! See what happens when you don't keep your texting straight??? All this from one simple text…. hehee.  We Love you Angie!!! maybe I should go on a mission to find the ugliest cake for her next b-day!!! 

OMG, yesterday ( yes this is random!) I went to Popeye's chicken ( don't judge, I wanted some Louisiana fast ok??) to get lunch for Megan and I. I order chic tenders and on the way home I was getting really hungry so was going to steal one ( Megan was at home, she wouldn't know!) and reached in and grabbed a leg! Um, ok, they gave me fried chicken! Guess I should have checked my order! So Scott calls and I am telling him about it and how it's just too hard to try and eat fried chicken while driving on the interstate so guess I'll wait til I get home, BUT that I bet somewhere out there someone was eating fried chicken while driving!!!!!! So then like 4 hrs later I get a text from Tasha " eating fried chicken while driving, nooooot a bright idea…..just sayin."   OMG, is that hilarious or what??? Funny little coincidence that one!!! I was cracking up!( Of coarse I also said to Scott that people who probably eat fried chicken while driving have greasy steering wheels and have kids who smell like sour milk. SORRY, I apologize for that! I can assure everyone Tasha's boys never ever smelled like sour milk. )

Well I hope everyone has an awesome wknd! And to my friends whom I love and adore, Keep those texts a'comin! I give it about 3 mins and I will be getting a text from Angie or Tasha calling me a b*tch! LOL!!