Friday, September 30, 2011

Life is like a box of chocolates....

and yesterday I got the hard icky nougat one...oh was like that. Wasn't too bad of a day until I headed in town for my regular dermatology apt. On my way, window down , singing along to Justin Timberlake (Just a classic case, a s-s-scenerio) when I feel something on my tooth. Soooo, I use my nail to see what it is and a piece of my tooth breaks off!! Yeah! I'm like freaking out! I pulled over to assess the damage & to call the dentist, which was closed.... :-\ I'm about ready to cry at this point! I mean there is a a piece of my tooth gone & I am seriously trippin here!! So I start driving and I am all calm, cool and collected now so call my husband for comfort.
Scott  "Hello"
Scott " what happened?"
me " I don't know but I am all snaggletoothed now!! "
Scott " is it bad?"
me " um yeah , well I don't know, maybe. It's just a little piece "
Scott" which tooth?"
me " you know one of the fangy ones."
Scott " Well good thing you aren't a vampire."
me " hardy har har. stop laughing at me or I will cut you with my snaggletooth."
Scott" call the dentist."
me " they are CLOSED!
Scott "oh well, maybe you can get in next week."
me , being the sarcastic smartass that I am had to say this " yeah oh well. Our anniversary is tomorrow and this tooth is sharp! So don't expect any fancy moves around your man parts." 
Scott just starts laughing at me which makes me laugh! So end that call I am feeling a little better. Go to my apt, I had a small bump on my eyelid, Dr says it's a cyst and she needs to lance it and pull it out with tweezers. ooookaaaayy.........ON MY EYELID!!!!! Yeah, let me tell ya, having a needle poked into your eyelid is not fun. IT HURT!!!! Not to mention the panic sitting there thinking " OMG OMG OMG she is gonna screw this up and stick my eyeball! MY EYEBALL!! For the love of all that is Holy please don't let her shank my eye!"   Luckily I am unshanked and only slightly bleeding. whew that was scary! If Dr's are gonna do that they should at least numb it or give you a shot of tequila first.
So now I have a partially missing tooth and a goofed up eye! My day got so. much. better. dontcha think?? So now I am all in meltdown mode and start texting a few of my buds for some support. I mention I am going to have to wear some sort of sexy outfit for my anniversary to draw attention from my snaggletooth & my bloody eyelid.  Angie suggested I dress as a sexy pirate! Maybe........ Slap an eyepatch on and we all know dental hygiene wasn't a big part of a pirate's life, so a missing tooth would be no big deal. Then I could go around saying things like " Arrrrgh, you after my booty mate?" It could sooo work.
(Thank you girls for making me laugh yesterday!! you know who you are!!)

Back to the box of chocolates theory, yesterday was indeed an icky nougat day, but today is a white chocolate truffle day!! I've been married to the love of my life for 16 yrs today! wow! And I got my snaggletooth fixed!! ( his man parts are safe! HA HA!!!!!) Scott took the day off and took me out for breakfast and lunch ( I gotta stop eating, I'll never fit into a pirate wench outfit this way!) and all is well. My eyelid looks better and has quit throbbing! yay!!!

I can laugh about all this, laughter is good. Better than crying! Besides.....pirates don't cry.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

OMG, good ole Dick and Jane

Product Description

When innocent Dick and Jane meet a creepy, cape-wearing vampire, the unexpected happens: he becomes their friend! This title borrows from the classic stories and art we all know and love, but adds an of-the-moment twist: a vampire, illustrated in the classic Dick and Jane-style. It's a mash-up kids and adults alike are sure to love.


I saw this on today and it just made me laugh!! So I had to share!! Mae, I would so love your comments on this!! LOL

doggies and squirrels and monkeys oh my!

I guess the 10th dog is holding out with the 10th dentist???? and is this really a selling point?? I mean dogs do eat crap , roll in dead things and drink from the toilet. Maybe they have a touch of poo flavor?? And how do they know?? I mean my dog has never snubbed any treat I've offered. Do they not feed the dog all day then put one treat closer to them so they eat it first? Do they wrap one in salad so the dog "prefers" the one not covered in lettuce? Why am I even questioning this?   I must be scraping the bottom of the barrel for blogging ideas. That's how they found all the girls for the "Rock of Love" with Brett Michaels show. Bottom. Of. The. Barrel.   sigh..........wait how did I get from doggie treats to Brett Michaels?? Nevermind. And yes, I did buy the treats..... :-)

since I am talking about animals......what is the DEAL with squirrels running out in front of cars???? I have hit 2 this week!! If they would just stay put or run the other way, but noooooo, they have to dart in front of you. Are they just little furry adrenaline junkies?? Is there a group hanging out in the ditch cheering their buddy on?? " go go go! Do it man!! You sooo got this!"  Then SPLAT! Then the little squirrel buddies toast him with a little fermented acorn juice and wait for the next car ? Stupid squirrels.

This is sort of? animal related .....what does the song "shock the monkey" by Peter Gabriel mean????? Heard it on the radio this morning, but I don't really get it.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

out of the mouths of babes........

Have I ever mentioned how funny it can be working with little kids??? Sometimes I forget how fun it can be when they are having a bad day and acting out. I was reminded today!!  we will call the boy J.

J. "hey know what I want for my birthday?"

me " nope what do you want for your birthday J?"

J. " I want a hooker for my birthday!"

me  { sitting there looking at him unsure what to say} "did you say a hooker?"

J. "Yep! A hooker! Or a wench. "

me {starting to get concerned here} " J, what exactly are you talking about?"

J. " you know a thingie that goes on the back of a truck to pull stuff? That thing. I want a hooker to pull stuff." {and he is making a little hook motion}

Me  " OH, you mean a hook?? "

J. " yeah a hook!!! I want a hook! That would be cool to pull stuff with daddy's truck!"

Glad we got that cleared up!!!!! Ya never know, last week he asked me if I wanted to hear a song about his wiener. I just said NO. maybe it was just the Oscar Mayer song?