Unless you are my proctologist, get off my ass!

That's a bumper sticker that pretty much sums it up for my day today. Thank you and Goodnight. Is it ok to call it a night and go to bed at 11:00 AM?? I feel like it's been a whole days worth of crapola if that counts!!?? Then maybe I can have some more weirdo dreams!! I am blaming the 3000mg of antibiotics I am on right now for those. Shall I share? They are quite good!

 Let's start with the singing dog! We are staying at a friends house and their dog Ozzy keeps singing "Mack the Knife" over and over. I'm like "please shut your dog up!!! I am trying to sleep and it feels like a 1950's lounge in here!" Sharon says " sorry it's the only song he knows. Ozzy stop singing!"So then the dog starts humming it instead!
ok so first off, with a name like Ozzy and an owner named Sharon you'd think the dog would be more apt to sing "Crazy Train" or "Bark at the Moon" right?? And second….that song was stuck in my head all day long!!!! I never liked that song and I still find I have no love for it, but funny dream!!

Onto the next warped dream!

It's like late1980 something, I am cruising around in a beat up banana yellow Camaro with my friends Tina and CiJay. Tina and I have on the classic 80's clothing of ripped jeans, black concert T's , hella huge earrings and of coarse hair that's so teased and huge I am surprised it fits in the car. CiJay however is dressed like Prince….purple suit, ruffled shirt, pointy boots and the curly hair, total Purple Rain!!!!! All except the giant handlebar mustache that is. Anyway we are road trippin listening to Whitesnake ( Here I go Again)  when Tina wants to stop at Dollar General for moon pies. So we go in and they are looking for moon pies and I go to the bathroom. Theres a 25 cent underwear machine on the wall. So I'm all like cool, cheap silk undies all right! So I put in my quarter and get my stash and then more and more keep coming out. So I didn't want to shove them in my purse so I took off my pants and put on all 15 pairs! I came waddling back out to find Tina and CiJay arguing because there wasn't any chocolate moon pies only  vanilla so should they get sticky buns instead. I'm  whispering to Tina to just pick something and get the hell outa there cuz I had on 15 pair of underwear and didn't wanna get busted! Then I yelled at CiJay to stop dancing in the aisle and go get in the car.


I really wish I could remember this one!!  I just know it involved Paul Rudd in very short tight khaki shorts and a Velociraptor. Man I bet it was really good too!!! :-(

Last night's dream involved a unicorn, a leprechaun and me in a hopscotch tournament. I lost. Stupid unicorn cheats.

feeling a little blue………or maybe not…..depends on the text

Hello there peeps!! Know it's been awhile, life just gets busy sometimes!! Plus Megan and I have been sick. I am so ready for summer! Not that I wanna wish away my days or anything, just ready for the warmth & being away from all the germs at school. I'm especially ready to be off the bus for awhile, it will be nice to not get snotted on ! LOL

Speaking of busses…..I am about to throw Angie under one! heehee :-) I love that girl!! she sends me a text one day last week asking me why I was so blue. I'm like ok, that's random, last I checked I'm doing fine! So I text her back " Um, cuz I been eating smurfs???" I should mention we are also on a group text with Tina. So Angie's like "har har" and says "because of the chocolate cake pic you sent that said this chases the blues away! You goober!"  I text back " I didn't send you a cake pic! maybe it was Tina!" Tina replies "???????" then calls me, " wtf is she talking about? what cake?" I'm like I have no idea!! LOL So then Angie gets all flustered and realizes it was a text from someone else! SSOOOOOO, Tina and I decide to google pics of choc cake with blue icing and send them to her phone!! heehee!! we are such smart asses I know!!! :-)  Thank you Google for the plethora of cakes!!

this one is so angry!!! 

I think the cake fairy just crapped on this one!

numnumnumnumnum

Tina found this lovely cake?? WTH?? Popular at birthdays AND Sacrifices!!!! woot woot! ???

OMG! DON"T EAT THE BABY! Crawl away baby Dennis!! Crawl away!!! 

I have no idea what this is!!!! ??? LOL

Eat me!!! Eat me!!! 

Just wanted to share all these lovely cupcakes and cakes with you!! See what happens when you don't keep your texting straight??? All this from one simple text…. hehee.  We Love you Angie!!! maybe I should go on a mission to find the ugliest cake for her next b-day!!! 

OMG, yesterday ( yes this is random!) I went to Popeye's chicken ( don't judge, I wanted some Louisiana fast ok??) to get lunch for Megan and I. I order chic tenders and on the way home I was getting really hungry so was going to steal one ( Megan was at home, she wouldn't know!) and reached in and grabbed a leg! Um, ok, they gave me fried chicken! Guess I should have checked my order! So Scott calls and I am telling him about it and how it's just too hard to try and eat fried chicken while driving on the interstate so guess I'll wait til I get home, BUT that I bet somewhere out there someone was eating fried chicken while driving!!!!!! So then like 4 hrs later I get a text from Tasha " eating fried chicken while driving, nooooot a bright idea…..just sayin."   OMG, is that hilarious or what??? Funny little coincidence that one!!! I was cracking up!( Of coarse I also said to Scott that people who probably eat fried chicken while driving have greasy steering wheels and have kids who smell like sour milk. SORRY, I apologize for that! I can assure everyone Tasha's boys never ever smelled like sour milk. )

Well I hope everyone has an awesome wknd! And to my friends whom I love and adore, Keep those texts a'comin! I give it about 3 mins and I will be getting a text from Angie or Tasha calling me a b*tch! LOL!!

Tis the season for hip hop???

ah the sweet sound of Christmas rap……Guess some people don't like the classics anymore, I heard a song on the radio, "all I want for Christmas are some Ho Ho Ho's"  a fiesty Jersey girl & southern belle  to be exact 

seriously??? I thought "wrapping " was only for presents! ok, that was a bad joke even for me!! :-) After about a minute I had to change the station. 

Speaking of holiday music, little J on the bus today sang quite the lovely Christmas tune " tis the season to be hollow!  fa la la la la la  Santa's Balls!"

 (glad he hasn't heard the Ho song!) 

Anyway, I hope all of you  have a wonderful Christmas  & a blessed New Year!! Thanks for reading my blog :-)

EPIC CHRISTMAS PHOTO FAIL…..

well dear friends and family who usually receive a xmas photo in your card…..I don't believe you will be getting one this year! First Scott refused to do it ( why are men so damn reluctant to have their pics taken?? it's not like the camera will steal your soul) then the pets would so not cooperate! But on the plus side, I just have to share the bloopers!!! LOL enjoy…..and Merry Christmas!

thanks Yahoo!!

I clicked on my Yahoo browser this fine morn to be welcomed by the usual plethora of newsworthy tidbits. But there was one thing this morning that caught my eye!! ( no pun intended, hehee) 

My first reaction was "WTH is that!!????"  Followed by" ohhhh I wonder if this is the mysterious one eyed trouser trout I have heard so much about?…." then onto " oh maybe it's a long lost cousin of Mike Wazowski!!! Are they making a Monsters Inc 2??"

Sorry Mike, I don't have the answer to that one!! ANYHOO…….it is actually a one eyed albino shark! 

I believe the scientific term is " Freakywhitecyclops" derived from the latin phrase " That s*#t is weird man" but I would have to research that to be sure.  I certainly wouldn't want to blog false facts.  ha! 

so I just wanted to thank Yahoo for popping up and scaring the beejebees out of me first thing in the morning and giving me something to blog about!! :-) 

Have a great day friends and keep your eye out for wordly news!! hehee

2 things not really blogworthy but here they are anyway

Ok I really want to just say no wonder this poor woman is depressed!! She is being stalked by a big blue bath robe!! Depressed??? Surprised she isn't bat shit crazy!!  I guess it's a step up from the older commercial where there was a black cloud following her, which I believe to be a fart cloud, and that too would make you a little down in the dumps. Not making fun of depression believe me, just these commercials really get to me! 

******

Also I really like the song "Moves Like Jagger" by Maroon 5 and Christina A, but what's her secret?? If she gonna share it & he gotta keep it cause nobody else can see it…..so I wonder…….is it a 3rd nipple??  a rash?? is she really a dude?? what's the damn secret???? 

*********

All right Debbie!!! geesh!

can't a sistah catch a break?? Even though I am sick { cough cough} my loving sister &  apparently her partner in crime Cathy, demand I blog today. Ok, so "demand" is a little harsh..... but she posted on my wall on FB, that's kinda like demanding right? Kinda like double dog daring someone on the playground ?? As long as she doesn't dare me to stick my tongue to a frozen pole I guess it's ok. ( yep a reference to the Christmas Story there! fra ra ra ra ra ra ra ra ra! ) 

what to blog, what to blog.....  oh I guess I could tell ya about going to my first Hockey game!! ( which when I texted Deb to tell her I was going I wrote " going to a hickey game later with Scott's friends! "  Note to self, please check message before hitting send. Auto correct likes to mess with me.) Anyway, loved the game!! Was really fun! despite the fact the place smelled like sweaty gym socks! ew  (another note to self, when attending sporting events where alcohol is present and you partake in said alcohol, do not wear, I repeat, DO NOT WEAR button fly jeans!! do you have any idea how confusing all those damn buttons are ????? and people look at you funny when you come out of the stall where you have been giggling and/or cursing at your pants!) Next time I am wearing sweats!! :-)

I am so glad we get a couple days off for Thanksgiving! The pre k kids have been wild! And OMG  the knock knock jokes......oh wait the knock knock joke, as in one, being told over and over and over......and over. And as a parent you know that usually a 3 yr old's jokes are so not funny, but you laugh anyway and tell them how funny they are. But, when you are bombarded by 15 kids telling you the same one over and over...and over...even a Saint would snap!! So today (I have no idea why I did this but I was desperate!!!!!) when the lil angel got on (the starter of the joke I have heard a gazillion times in 2 wks) I was starting to panic cuz she had that look....I started flapping my "wings" & clucking like a chicken to distract her! Ha! it worked! oh but wait, she finds it hilarious and keeps asking me to do it again.....so finally I said " Oh you better hide in your seat because you are a little worm and I am a hungry chicken!!" To which she replied by screaming " eat me eat me eat me eat me!!"

EPIC . FAIL.

Ok Debbie, that's all you get for now. See you on Turkey day!! Love you!! :-)