Friday, March 16, 2012

Unless you are my proctologist, get off my ass!

That's a bumper sticker that pretty much sums it up for my day today. Thank you and Goodnight. Is it ok to call it a night and go to bed at 11:00 AM?? I feel like it's been a whole days worth of crapola if that counts!!?? Then maybe I can have some more weirdo dreams!! I am blaming the 3000mg of antibiotics I am on right now for those. Shall I share? They are quite good!

 Let's start with the singing dog! We are staying at a friends house and their dog Ozzy keeps singing "Mack the Knife" over and over. I'm like "please shut your dog up!!! I am trying to sleep and it feels like a 1950's lounge in here!" Sharon says " sorry it's the only song he knows. Ozzy stop singing!"So then the dog starts humming it instead!
ok so first off, with a name like Ozzy and an owner named Sharon you'd think the dog would be more apt to sing "Crazy Train" or "Bark at the Moon" right?? And second….that song was stuck in my head all day long!!!! I never liked that song and I still find I have no love for it, but funny dream!!

Onto the next warped dream!

It's like late1980 something, I am cruising around in a beat up banana yellow Camaro with my friends Tina and CiJay. Tina and I have on the classic 80's clothing of ripped jeans, black concert T's , hella huge earrings and of coarse hair that's so teased and huge I am surprised it fits in the car. CiJay however is dressed like Prince….purple suit, ruffled shirt, pointy boots and the curly hair, total Purple Rain!!!!! All except the giant handlebar mustache that is. Anyway we are road trippin listening to Whitesnake ( Here I go Again)  when Tina wants to stop at Dollar General for moon pies. So we go in and they are looking for moon pies and I go to the bathroom. Theres a 25 cent underwear machine on the wall. So I'm all like cool, cheap silk undies all right! So I put in my quarter and get my stash and then more and more keep coming out. So I didn't want to shove them in my purse so I took off my pants and put on all 15 pairs! I came waddling back out to find Tina and CiJay arguing because there wasn't any chocolate moon pies only  vanilla so should they get sticky buns instead. I'm  whispering to Tina to just pick something and get the hell outa there cuz I had on 15 pair of underwear and didn't wanna get busted! Then I yelled at CiJay to stop dancing in the aisle and go get in the car.

I really wish I could remember this one!!  I just know it involved Paul Rudd in very short tight khaki shorts and a Velociraptor. Man I bet it was really good too!!! :-(

Last night's dream involved a unicorn, a leprechaun and me in a hopscotch tournament. I lost. Stupid unicorn cheats.

No comments:

Post a Comment